


Criminal VILE-ations

by Cleverclove, PlayerThePenguin



Category: Carmen Sandiego (Cartoon 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Extreme Confusion, Gen, Kind of written like Heroes of Olympus, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, POV Female Character, punny, witty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:08:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23354455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleverclove/pseuds/Cleverclove, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayerThePenguin/pseuds/PlayerThePenguin
Summary: This fic stars five EPIC-ly confused freshmen at AU Vile Academy High School. A snippet from below:The hairs on Kami’s arms immediately stuck up. Leaning on the doorway, a mockingly amused face stared back at them. Her half-white and half-black hair was in two side buns, and her eyes were glancing with unbridled glee at the prey before her. In her hands, two impossibly sharp midnight blue and amethyst paper stars looked ready to be chucked. Though she seemed petite, she had to be at least a sophomore.For a minute, no one dared to speak.“Um,” murmured Aru, “do you have a reservation? ‘Cause we’re all booked up.” She and Bia jumped into a back to back Charlie’s Angels pose. Jae facepalmed while Allison laughed in the background.“Oh,” she said softly, “we don’t have to fight. I have a bone to pick and you don’t have to make it the hard way.” She raised her hand and a paper shuriken sliced in between Bia’s and Aru’s backs. They came apart, revealing two symmetrical rips down the sides of their uniforms.“You’re killing me, smalls,” said Allison from the rafters. Wait, when did she get up there?
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

The girl crouched on the rafters above Coach Brunt’s stage presentation, shivering with anticipation. With a smile that would make jail-locals nervous, she slipped two freshly made stink bombs out of her pocket and waited. She did a once-over of the VILE Academy Auditorium, seating maybe a hundred and twenty students. Some were so short Allison doubted they could qualify for anything except merry-go-rounds, and some were already developing mustaches. The tall pillars, dramatic green stage lighting, and giant school crest behind the podium all gave way to an intimidatingly strong school spirit. It was actually making Allison a little nervous. That, and the fact she couldn’t see any accessible exits. She also wasn't alone, and she could tell. Only a few yards from her, another girl hid. Ally glanced over, but she seemed unaware of her presence at the moment. Her frizzy raven black hair was up in a bun, and she had a permanent scowl on her face. Ally wasn’t sure if she had seen her yet, and hopefully, she wouldn’t. Why was she here anyway? It was annoying; she couldn’t have anybody messing with her plans. If she was caught, well, the stakes were high. Ally knew from the few passing mentions in the halls that VILE Academy showed no mercy, not even to freshmen.  
And then there were those who were scattered below them. A few in the wings, one concealed behind a shipping container backstage. Why didn’t they join the sea of teens like they were supposed to?  
Then again, Ally thought to herself, when was the last time I did what I was supposed to? This is a school for criminals, anyway.  
Below her, Allison saw two other girls maybe her age hiding behind the curtains. She adjusted her round yellow glasses suspiciously. It was hard to see in the shadow of the red drapes, but from what she could see, one had a sandy complexion, and hair that was short, dark, and curly with an odd blonde highlight, held by a contraption that could barely be called a headband. The other had tan, s’more-colored skin and a thick braid reaching slightly past her shoulders. The one with the braid was fiddling with a green and white box in one hand, and was spinning what appeared to be a modified-Xbox controller in the other. She was whispering hotly with the curly-haired kid when Ally noticed a sword-like thing strapped to her back.  
And of course, there was that small, intriguing girl, ducked behind one of the auditorium’s towering pillars. Her black-orange ombré bob swept over her rounded face, yet the narrowed eyes indicated something of an impish smile, a true touch of mischief to her.  
Ally shut her eyes for a moment, registering every little detail like a camera, storing them in the database of her mind.  
Yet even though Ally had never met any of these people before, she felt inexplicably drawn to them, almost like they were in on this together, even though Ally knew there was no way they’d conspire to prank the coach at the same time. Right?  
Now the coach below her started speaking. No, Allison thought, it’s definitely screaming. “Listen up, ya maggots. If you are kind, considerate, and trustworthy, well, the door’s over there.” She pointed a thick finger to a spot labeled EXIT, with two dangerous-looking guards in janitor suits holding mops next to it. “THIS is a school for thieves. Here y’all will be trained to pickpocket, pillage, and plunder by the most highly-skilled thieves of the last two centuries. Ask Professor Maelstrom, he’s probably been around for three. You have been handpicked for the...”  
“Move.” The girl beside her turned her stormy eyes to Ally. Alarm bells sounded inside Ally’s head. I’ve been seen. Then they shifted to the smelly bombs in her hands and raised her eyebrows. And so have me stink bombs. “What are you doing?”  
“Dunno,” Ally said, making sure her voice didn’t betray her nerves, “what’re you doin’, eh?”  
“...Fer now, first names only, ‘til ya get yer code names,” Brunt continued beneath them. “Check the number on yer wristband fer yer bunker assignment. There’ll be juniors around the halls in case you need any help. My advice? Don’t. Can’t promise they won’t show you the bottom of the toilet first. Now, scatter.” About forty freshmen got up nervously, and looked around. They wandered out of the room and into the 12 different hallways leading out. Ally wondered how many of them she’d be seeing in her bunker.  
Enough of that now. This was her cue. Stretching her hand, Ally dropped a bomb squarely upon Coach’s podium. She slipped the other one into her pocket, just in case.  
The second the bomb made contact, a cloud of sulfur and old egg-salad sandwich scent engulfed the room. The other girl’s eyes widened, and she gasped, both at the audacity this scrawny, shrimp-like nerd just displayed and the reproachable smell from below.  
Then the duo behind the curtains exchanged looks, and the green and white box expanded into a full size drone. It produced cannons and began swooping around firing glitter at the crowd.  
The short, ghost-like gymnast then slipped a pink cushion behind the coach. When she sat down to compose herself, a colossal PHBPHBPHPPHH ripped through the auditorium. At the same time, the tubby girl crawled over Ally and let out something under her breath that Ally was sure wasn’t high school appropriate.  
“We gotta go, now.” The girl grappled onto Ally’s wrist, but it was too late. The coach waved the cloud of gas away from her and spun around. She pointed with damning judgment at the girl with the braid and the one with the curly hair behind the curtains. Then she found ghost girl, and glanced up at Ally and the scowler. Allison couldn’t believe it. In less than ten seconds, this coach who she knew nothing about had pinpointed the five well-hidden pranksters. A shadow of respect passed over her face, which was immediately replaced by a sense of dread. Bye-bye thieving dreams. She muttered the same phrase her impromptu companion had not a second ago, only louder and with much more power.  
“YOU FIVE DOWN HERE, NOW. The rest of you, get out.” They shuffled down and toward her. Her stony face scanned the perpetrators.   
“In all my 30 years teaching thieves, I’ve never seen anyone do that at orientation. I ought to expel you, but how can I with the whole herd of ya? I’ll see you all in detention next week.” The scowler groaned. “Scratch that, next month.” They all glared at her. “And if I see any of you messing about in these halls, without permission of course, I doubt you’ll be returning to VILE next year.” They all turned to leave. “Which bunk are you in? Let me see your wristband.” She grabbed Ally’s hand, and read #10.  
“Of course, the bunk for late sign-ups.” All of them glanced at their wrists and turned as red as their bands. “So y’all are in the same bunk, then. Anyways, scram.” They filed out to the 10th dorm, but Coach Brunt called out something before they could leave.  
“Oh, and congratulations. It’s been a long time since anybody got me that good.” She winked, and turned around.

  
—————————————

  
“This is not how I expected to meet my roommates,” grumbled Kamalani while swabbing the floors of the 10th floor girls’ bathroom, their 10th and last one of the day. It may have seemed a little harsh not to even attempt to talk to them while working on the toilets, but honestly, detention was a perfect way to make first impressions. So far, though, they had been limited to grunts, sighs, and nods, so Kami couldn’t complain.  
The girl with chestnut brown streaked hair and an air for drama (considering the amount of musical theater she both sang and referenced) rolled her colorful big eyes. “Oh, I’m sure you expected a potluck in a school for criminals?” She softened a bit, as if being snappy were wrong somehow. “Sorry. The name’s Bianca. Call me Bia until codename time.”  
The ghosty girl in the back suddenly spoke up with a voice way louder and more confident than Kami expected, “You know, we really should introduce ourselves. We have to do it eventually, and since we’re all going to be seeing a lot more of each other, -”  
“Don’t remind me,” grumbled the kid with the drone.  
“- we may as well do it now. My name’s Jae, pleased to meet you.” She firmly grabbed the drone kid’s hand and shook it. Kami had never seen a gesture so diplomatic and violent at the same time. She approved.  
“My name’s Kami,” she offered. Everyone stared at her, dumbfounded.  
“Well, now that Miss Chatterbox has finally contributed,” said the drone kid with a lighthearted tone, “my name’s Aru. I play soccer, enjoy math, and not-so-enjoy but play piano.” Kami glanced down at the expandable drone that had Barbie-fied the stage yesterday. “Oh, and I dabble in robotics.” Aru pressed a button, and suddenly, the drone unfolded and grew four legs, a tail, and a dog-head. The wings quickly collapsed inwards. It was a full-on robotic dog. Bia squealed in delight and ran from her toothbrush scrubbing to pet the metallic mutt.  
“Don’t ye have to,” asked the girl from the rafters yesterday, “ye know, ask permission to pet dogs? And to own a robot one?”  
“Dunno, said Aru with a wink. “Never have, probably never will. Besides, Bia and I knew each other before this. Heck, maybe before middle school. And don’t worry, greenie isn’t just a dog.” That did not ease Kami’s worries.  
“And who are you?” asked Bia good-naturedly to the rafter girl, “we’ve all introduced ourselves except for you.”  
The girl looked up from her plunger at the odd group of new roommates, as if scanning them. Finally, she seemed to hum in something like approval. “Allison,” she said with a slight accent. Randomly, she added with a chaotic expression, “and me dad’s a muggle. Mam’s a witch. Bitofanastyshockforhimwhenhefoundout.”  
Kami snorted as glanced around the bathroom. It seemed she scored a group of Potterheads, as they at least huffed at Allison’s near-perfect impression of Seamus Finnigan. Probably the accent. Allison exchanged double fist bumps with Aru and Bia. She only gleaned a small smile from Jae, though. Then Allison wandered over to Kami. The girl seemed a bit spacey, but Kami noticed a dangerous shine to her beautiful sea green eyes, which were protected and enhanced by her unassuming glasses.  
“So,” Kami said, “you were the one who dropped the stink bombs, then?”  
Allison raised her chin proudly. “Made ‘em meself.”  
“Nice,” said Aru approvingly, “By the way, are ya from Chicago or something? Thick Irish accent there.”  
“Born in Dublin, moved to the Bronx three years ago. Thought I’d shaken the accent, though.”  
“That’s nice,” an unknown voice rang out by the exit of the bathroom. The girls’ heads turned to the speaker. The hairs on Kami’s arms immediately stuck up. Leaning on the doorway, a mockingly amused face stared back at them. Her half-white and half-black hair was in two side buns, and her eyes were glancing with unbridled glee at the prey before her. In her hands, two impossibly sharp midnight blue and amethyst paper stars looked ready to be chucked. Though she seemed petite, she had to be at least a sophomore.  
For a minute, no one dared to speak.  
“Um,” murmured Aru, “do you have a reservation? ‘Cause we’re all booked up.” She and Bia jumped into a back to back Charlie’s Angels pose. Jae facepalmed while Allison laughed in the background.  
“Oh,” she said softly, “we don’t have to fight. I have a bone to pick and you don’t have to make it the hard way.” She raised her hand and a paper shuriken sliced in between Bia’s and Aru’s backs. They came apart, revealing two symmetrical rips down the sides of their uniforms.  
“You’re killing me, smalls,” said Allison from the rafters. Wait, when did she get up there? She bounded down. Mid-leap, Allison unsheathed two perfectly-hidden knives from her long sweater sleeves. She seemed a little too practiced and enthusiastic for Kami’s taste. Nice. Following her newfound friends’ examples, she raised her well-trained fists.  
“Watch it, Paper Star.” Kami groaned internally at her unoriginal insult. However, the psycho sophomore only curved her magenta lips into a twisted grin. “My friends here and I are dangerous enemies. Better to keep us as friends.”  
“Paper Star…I like it,” she said simply. With that, she turned and skipped away down the corridor, singing softly to herself as she went. Kami sighed and turned around. She was shocked to see all of them, weapons drawn at her defense. Aru had produced a three-foot long sword with a metallic hilt, Jae had nunchucks as graceful as she looked, and Bia’s hair was now free of her headband, which expanded into a full-on whip. They refused to let go of their defense until they were sure that Paper Star was out of the picture.  
“Oh, great,” scoffed Bia as she heard the skips fade, “first I got a detention on my permanent record and now we have our first enemy. What next, a-,”  
“Hold up.” Aru clasped her friend’s shoulder. “We’re criminals now, remember? Your permanent record doesn’t matter.” Bia gave off a short, quick sigh, looking like she wanted to say more.  
“That was pretty weird, wasn’t it?” Allison said, wisely changing topics.  
“Yeah…how did she know we were here?” Aru asked.  
“Maybe your obsessive toothbrush scrubbing gave us away,” Kami suggested.  
After shooting her a dirty look, Bia said, “Or maybe she just needed to use the restroom, like all human beings.”  
“But with potential weapons?” Jae stroked her chin in thought.  
Allison made an odd expression. “It was origami,” she said to such an absurd thought, “y’know, the Japanese art of paper folding?”  
“Yeah, sharp enough to cut your clothes and possibly worse,” retorted Jae.  
“Hey guys, we’re done for the day anyways. We should probably head back. First day of school tomorrow,” said Kami.  
Allison snickered as they walked out of the girls’ restroom. “Death by paper cut. Imagine that on yer obituary.”  
By the time they made their way back to the dorms where their things were scattered messily from the night before. The soft colors of sunset upon the shore only a mere few yards away from campus turned to a deep and dark evening. As they unwinded from a taxing day of detention, Kami sighed at her dirt-crusted Vans. One had a massive hole from age and use. When I become a thief, the first thing I’m gonna steal is a new pair of sneakers. Nice ones. Before she could carry on with this fantasy, they all glanced up at the clock.  
“Ten seconds to curfew!” Aru noted. Allison, Aru, and Bia all scampered up to their bunks, and Jae and Kami groggily nodded to each other before quickly rolling into bed. The overhead warehouse lights shut off, leaving the room in pitch dark for a whopping five seconds. The flashlights flickered on from Aru’s third level top bunk and Allison’s second level bunk as well. Everyone dug out their duffel bags from the small storage nooks embedded in the walls next to each bunk.  
They all shuffled around under the sheets, pulling on layers of pajamas.  
Bianca gave a strange, nervous laugh, saying, “So in character for a criminal organization to shut off all dorm lights at curfew. But it still bugs me that two nights in a row, we’ve had disgusting cleaning suits come in contact with our bunks. But you know what Coach Brunt said: ‘Alarms will go off unless all students are in their bunks by curfew.’”  
Aru wondered out loud, “But how do they know? Is Coach just bluffing, or are there some sensors? ‘Cause Green Drone’s not detecting anything, and she’d know if something was there. Unless…,” she trailed off.  
Allison spoke from her top bunk after a second. “Yeah. I heard that the punishment for breaking curfew is that you have to bathe in the, very public, mind you, locker rooms. Which’ve never been cleaned in 50 years.” She shuddered, and Kami (and probably everyone else collectively) flinched at her bunkmate’s tale.  
Jae cut them all out of their unwanted visions, saying, “Yeah, guys, hate to break up the party, but tomorrow’s our first day, so we might wanna get some sleep. Just sayin’.” They all gave grunts of assent and shifted deeper into their covers. Kami heard three people snoring instantly. She gave a sigh of relief. As much as she lied to herself, these girls were not to be trusted. If there was anything Kami hated more than anything, it was liars. They could not afford to be close enough to friends. And Kami didn’t come here to make friends anyway. None of them did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First day at VILE!

Chapter 2

**Schedule: Bianca, Freshmen Dormitory #10**

**A Day**

**1st Period** AP Geometry: Instructor Shadow-San (50 min)

**2nd Period** Chemistry: Instructor Dokuso (50 min) 

*Grace Period (10 min)*

**3rd Period** Home Economics: Instructor Hong

**4th Period** Physical Education: Coach Brunt (50 min)

*Lunch Period (20 min)*

**5th Period** AP English: Instructor Mason (50 min)

**6th Period** Renaissance History: Instructor Cleo (50 min) 

**7th Period** Homeroom: Instructor Shadow-San (30 min)

BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP. BEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP. Bia groaned sleepily. She looked (well, squinted really) at the neon green electric clock on the high ceiling.  _ 6:30.  _ She stirred, hardly conscious, as did all of her roommates. The warehouse lights overhead suddenly burst open, LED lights glaring in disapproval at their languid moods. Startled at the sudden lighting, Bia forced herself to look at the drab beige couch near the heavy gray door that held her neatly prepped uniform: gray-green shorts or skirt, 2 inches above the knee, white shirt, and forest green cardigan with a bold and proud V emblazoned on the left side. 

_ Well,  _ thought Bia, standing up,  _ better get ready. _

__ By the time all five of them changed into their uniforms, it was 7:30. They waited silently by the door, listening for the bell letting students know to get to class. Once it went off (sounding like the foghorns from the SF Bay), she set down the hall, four others behind her. Being at the end of the hall meant that they had a few moments of silence before all the other freshmen dorms filed in. Bia looked behind her. Aru was pushing through the crowd toward her, Jae was talking to a kid with a bow tie over a lavender sweater and an electric-blue haircut, but Ally and Kami were nowhere to be seen. Bia had no time to consider it. 

“Hey Azz! Here, let me see your schedule.” Bia forked it over distractedly. 

“Mmmm, okay, so it looks like we have Geometry and PE together today. So we’re going to… that classroom over there.” Bia peeked over Aru’s shoulder, scanning the list of classes. They went into a classroom that looked like it was pulled straight out of a Japanese origami class. The teacher at the front of the room was wearing a  _ kimono _ and looked like he was ready to bust some wannabe-criminal butt. 

“Hey, Aru, you sure we’re in the right classroom? This doesn’t look like Trigonometry.” 

“Yeah, you’re right, but see here? 10B. This is the one…” Aru never got the chance to finish her thought, because at that moment, the worst happened.

Well, maybe not the  _ worst,  _ but it was still pretty awful. 

————————————— 

“Hello VILE Academy students and prospective criminals. That is all I have for formalities. I am Shadow-San, your trigonometry teacher. That means everyone in this room has passed the advancement exam from my Geometry class. Let me warn you, this will not be easy. In fact, I take pride in the fact that  _ many  _ students consider it the hardest course in their year.” He gave a slow smile and creased another fold on the paper in his hand. “I am not here to give you skill, because you have none- SILENCE.” The poor boy in the back’s giggles tapered off and steely silence filled the room. The katana on display at the front glinted. Bia swallowed, the tension becoming thicker by the second. Finally, Shadow-San’s scowl dissolved into a few creases on his face.

“As I was  _ saying,  _ it is you who will have to learn and master your skill to succeed in my class. After that, we might actually have hope that you will actually fly instead of falling like a bird with clipped wings.”At that moment, he released a newly made crane from his fingers, allowing it to flutter the space between Bia and Aru’s desks in the front row. They stared at it, watching it land. Shadow-San walked up between them, and smashed the crane underfoot. He twisted his ankle, rubbing it in, then looked up coldly. 

“Now, as your first official class at VILE, let me give you some information.” Shadow-San passed out laminated schedules, student ID’s, and a list of passcodes, and a map of VILE Academy. He projected the map to the board, slapping the rectangle labeled  Cafe with the side of his blade. “HERE is where you will be eating and completing group-work. Here…” His voice faded out. 

“All right. Now that we have wasted a whole ten minutes of class time, let us get to trigonometry. Of course, we need to get ourselves together first. I bet most of you can barely do basic math. Cory,” he hissed loudly to the kid with the electric-blue haircut behind Bia, “what is 2+2?”

Cory, who had been talking to Jae earlier that morning, was fairly androgynous in appearance and looked sound asleep on the desk when their soft snores were interrupted. They stirred conscious, their cheek drooping like a basset hound as they adjusted their lopsided glasses. 

“Yeah?” They mumbled.

Allison, who happened to sit behind poor Cory, leaned over her desk and half-whispered, half-giggled, “Seven.”

Cory jerked upward, ready to answer the question. “SEVEN!!” The class laugh track went off. Cory went red, and spun around, glaring at Allison. They muttered a few colorful words to her. Allison laughed loudly. 

Shadow-San was less amused. He walked between the two of them, and muttered, “Stand up.” 

Allison’s smile faded and she looked at Shadow-San. “Wh-what?”

“I said, STAND UP!” He looked around the classroom, gesturing for everyone to rise. 

“So you think you know how it works around here? Well, let me tell you something. You have not seen the things I have.  _ You  _ do not have the knowledge, skill, or guts to tell yourself you are wrong when you are.” Allison flinched and her freckled face went red. Bia waited with bated breath, fingers tugging at her dark hair. Shadow-San turned to face the rest of the class.

“I will be the judge of how class goes,  _ not _ you.” To her horror, he pointed a finger at Aru and her. “You two are good friends, are you not?” Bia and Aru glanced at each other, too knowing of what was coming. New students would not walk in with the familiarity they did. They nodded quickly, avoiding eye contact with the teacher. 

“Good. You with the short hair, over there.” He pointed to the other side of the classroom. 

Bia slammed her hands down, suddenly feeling angry. “We HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING!” 

Aru stood by her, saying, “At least judge us for  _ our  _ actions, Instructor.” Shadow-San narrowed his eyes. “Very well. Recklessly lashing out at me for my precautions. Showing visible signs of rebellion. THINKING YOU CAN TALK BACK TO ME IN MY OWN CLASSROOM. Not to mention ATTACKING A FACULTY MEMBER WITH GLITTER IN FRONT OF THE REST OF THE SCHOOL, or have you forgotten? THOSE ARE THE ACTIONS YOU HAVE SHOWN ME. Now sit.” His tone left no room for argument.

Bia trudged over. No haggling, it seemed. She sank into her seat as Shadow-San returned to the board, casting one last look at the class, daring them to challenge. He got through five minutes before Bia looked up at the clock that read 9:00. 

—————————————

BRRRRIIINNNNGGG! The bell signaling the end of trigonometry went off and Aru gave Bia a mutual numbly irritated look before being sucked into the crowd of students changing classes. Aru pulled her folded schedule from her uniform pocket and located her next class: Junior Renaissance History with Countess Cleo. The milieu of the room was...flamboyant to say the least. Darkness accentuated artifacts and historical art that Aru was pretty sure she’d seen in the Smithsonian on a field trip last summer. One tucked in a corner looked vaguely like the Mona Lisa, and it had the stamp of authenticity in the bottom right corner.  _ Wait, so what’s under two layers of bulletproof glass at the Louvre right now? _ Aru wondered. She had no time to dwell on it. The Countess at the front of the classroom was scanning the class, and Aru had already made a bad impression (by association) on one teacher. Cleo looked as removed and regal as a queen, yet her attire was far too formal and her face too painted with makeup for 9:05 in the morning.  _ Azz will enjoy this.  _

“Sit up straight.” She said once everybody was seated. “You all look like invertebrates. I saw you eat your meals yesterday. You could barely hold cutlery, much less any control over your lives. This class has  _ much  _ higher standards,” the countess said with her nose in the air. 

Aru wanted to let out a sigh. It seemed VILE had a running theme of teachers taking zero trash. 

“You may think that the Middle Ages were a time of balls and beauty.” A bunch of snickers filled the room. Cleo ignored them. “In reality, they were a time of hard work, poverty, and a few of the very, very rich. Times haven’t changed much - the 21st century is no different. Now, I ask you, will you remain peasants or will you steal your way to glory?” Aru didn’t know whether to laugh at her dead-serious delivery of what sounded like something from  _ The Emperor’s New Groove  _ or take the measure to heart.

“Now, turn to Unit 1,” she requested (it was really a command), “and may I have Kamalani read the first paragraph?”

Five boring paragraphs later, with thirty minutes left until Grace Period, Aru was on the verge of either collapsing on her desk and going into hibernation or full-on just walking back to Dorm #10. 

Just as she was about to doze off, Countess Cleo snapped, “All right, enough reading. Now for some practical skills. Let’s see where you all stand in your thieving prowess.” She walked over to her desk and picked up a piece of paper.  _ Probably a roster,  _ Aru thought.  _ That means I’ll be safe for another fifteen at least. _

Unfortunately, Aru had forgotten that last names no longer counted at VILE, and was the second unluckily chosen out of about fourteen students. Countess Cleo gestured for her to stand up. 

“So, Miss Arundhati, answer what Miss Amaya could not. Whose jewels are these?” Aru stared at the ornate crown and brooch mounted in one of the glass cases at the front of the classroom. She slowly walked up to examine them for herself and at least try to fail less miserably. Distinctly European, with a lock of hair  _ (eww)  _ encapsulated inside the brooch of the set. She scanned for a seal, which Aru found inside the crown. She had no clue what it was, however. 

Countess Cleo grimaced at her. “While we’re still somewhat youthful, Arundhati.”

Aru walked around the case one last time, and just as she was finishing, she noticed a weird glint in the last purple jewel. She looked at the rest of the jewels and realized, _none of them actually reflected._ They looked like those craft jewels you pick up at the dollar store. And now that she thought about it, the mousy-brown lock of hair inside looked like that of a wig. Aru glanced at Countess Cleo nervously, then said, “Um, Countess Cleo, I think this is a fake.” 

Countess Cleo’s eyes went wide for a second, then narrowed. “Yes, indeed it is, Arundhati. But  _ you are the second student to have identified that in the last fifteen years.  _ As for the first, she’s not quite a role model for anyone, to say the least.” 

Aru laughed halfheartedly, too disturbed by Cleo’s tone to fully savor the victory. “Who was she? Or is she?” 

“Unrelated. If you must know, she’s a rambunctious little runt who could never keep her behavior in check. Nothing more to say, really. There’s no possible way  _ you  _ could’ve figured that out, though.”

“First, well second, time for everything?” Aru asked nervously.

“Mmmmmm, of course. Although cheating is hardly a first at VILE Academy.” Aru’s face got hot and her ears felt like they were going to explode. 

“I’m not a cheater, I swear. I-I would never. Say, how did that other one figure it out anyways,” she asked, desperately trying to avoid the inevitable.

“Oh but you are, Miss Arundhati. Only one raised among thieves could deduce that. You were not, I presume. Now, back to your seat. I’ll see you after class.” 

—————————————

Jae slammed Chapter 1 of  _ The Outsiders _ shut, after avidly recording detailed notes about Ponyboy’s attack and how it sets up the tone of the story. Setting the notebook and  _ The Outsiders  _ in her bag, she glanced up at her roommates, who were also quietly working around the large, well-used table in their dorm.

“So,” Jae said conversationally, breaking the silence, “how was everyone’s first day?”

Bia and Aru exchanged glances, then looked at her, laughing. 

“ Could have... gone better,” said Bia. 

“Although, I think our teachers are warming up to us!” Aru added. 

Allison, who had been sitting next to Kami, piped up. “I don’t know what yer talking about. Kami and I adore Instructor Dokuso. Who knew chemistry was so cool!?” 

Bia sat, thoughtful, before replying, “Yeah, true. Countess Cleo was so nice,” she said, eyes brightening, “and her class was so interesting…”

Aru raised her eyebrows at her. “Did we see the same Cleo,” she asked flatly. 

“Well, yeah,” responded Bia, who was oblivious to sarcasm unless she was the one giving it, “I think there’s only one Cleo in the staff, right?”

“Yeah, she is, and she  _ accused me of cheating!  _ I’ll be helping the Cleaners with laundry for a week unless I can prove I didn’t cheat. Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?” grumbled Aru. Bia winced at this revelation about her new favorite teacher. 

“Well, you are at a high school-crime school. Can’t expect much justice here.”

A moment passed before Kamalani spoke. “Well, I think we can all agree that Shadow-san kinda sucks,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Jae nodded, and a few murmurs of agreement were uttered.

“I heard we’re not gonna get away from him for the rest of high school,” she said, huffing a streak of orange-black hair exasperatedly. 

After Bia had banged her head against the nearest wall enough and Allison and Aru stopped screaming a colorful speech that could have filled ten (mostly censored) pages complaining about how very unfair that was, the room was in a state of bitter indifference. Jae suddenly felt obliged to cheer her roommates up a bit. “Hey, guys, look on the bright side. It’s Friday! I hear there’s a ton of fun stuff to do on the weekend at the VILE Square nearby. And it’s included in the tuition, so we don’t have to pay until we turn into actual operatives. We just use these.” She waggled her student ID in the air.

That seemed to cheer up her sulking acquaintances. “Maybe we could go to the arcade!” Allison tittered excitedly.

“Or bowling,” added Kamalani.

“Or go-karting!” Aru said in unison with Jae.

“Oh! Or shopping,” Bia suggested tentatively. Everyone looked slowly at her, then collectively shuddered.

“Azz, nothing against shopping, but…” Aru couldn’t finish her sentence, and her face had suddenly lost color and became sweaty.

“‘S just, maybe it’s not for us. As a group.” Allison took off her glasses, rubbing the bridge of her nose. 

“Wait,” said Kamalani, “ we’re going as a group?”

They all paused, taking a minute to think about it. Finally, Jae said decisively, “Yeah, couldn’t hurt. Worst case scenario, we don’t spend weekends together.”

Allison interrupted, “Actually, the worst case scenario is that we go shopping.” Bia rolled her eyes, facepalming.

“Ok, so, bowling, then arcade, then go-karting,” Jae said, “it’s settled.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is a mostly OC-centric fic. We will be updating chapter by chapter. Comments and Kudos greatly appreciated! Enjoy!


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